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Don't Touch Me - Funny Hand Cream Gift, Island Citrus

Don't Touch Me - Funny Hand Cream Gift, Island Citrus

$20.99
Shipping calculated at checkout.

Pickup available at Tulip Bloom Boutique

Usually ready in 24 hours

Don't Touch Me - Funny Hand Cream Gift, Island Citrus

Default Title

Tulip Bloom Boutique

Pickup available, usually ready in 24 hours

138 5th St
West Des Moines IA 50265
United States

5152105009
Details
The hand crème for people who love smooth skin but hate everyone else. Don’t Touch Me combines lightweight hydration with a delightfully antisocial attitude. Made with nourishing cocoa butter and fast-absorbing jojoba oil, this clean, vegan, and cruelty-free formula leaves hands silky AF without the greasy feel. The bright, sunny blend of island citrus delivers instant mood-lifting energy—without requiring any actual human interaction. Packaged in a recyclable tube with a chic gold cap, it’s a functional self-care staple wrapped in unapologetic personality. Why customers love it: • Everyday hydration: Lightweight blend with jojoba oil + cocoa butter. • Non-greasy feel: Fast-absorbing, silky finish. • Uplifting scent: Island Citrus brings bright, fresh, “do not perceive me” energy. • Gift-ready packaging: Recyclable tube with luxe gold cap. • Clean beauty standards: Vegan, cruelty-free, made in the USA. Best for: Retailers looking for humor with an edge — perfect for gift shops, lifestyle boutiques, apothecaries, and apparel stores where customers love personality-packed self-care. Merchandising ideas for retailers: • Position as an under $25 impulse buy for introverts and sarcasm enthusiasts. • Display with sass-forward items like snarky journals, shower steamers, and matches. • Perfect for “bad mood” gift sets, break-up boxes, or anti-Valentine’s displays. • Great for Holiday Gifting, Valentine's Day Gifts, Birthday Gifts, Mother's Day Gifts, Everyday Gifts or Stocking Stuffers under $25 The Chez Gagné twist (straight from the tube): “If ‘GET AWAY FROM ME’ is your vibe… we’ve got you covered. Our non-greasy blend of jojoba oil and cocoa butter softens rough hands and hard edges alike. We’ll make you hydrated, radiant, and still totally unapproachable. You. Are. Welcome.” Product details: • Name: Don’t Touch Me – Moisturizing Hand Crème (Island Citrus) • Size: 3.4 oz / Tube dimensions: 2.4 x 5.75 in. • Packaging: Recyclable tube with luxe gold cap • Formula: Lightweight, fast-absorbing blend with cocoa butter + jojoba oil • Scent: Island Citrus (bright, fresh, sunny) • Made in USA: From domestic + globally sourced components • Vegan + cruelty-free

Materials + Care

We prioritize quality in selecting the materials for our items, choosing premium fabrics and finishings that ensure durability, comfort, and timeless appeal.

Shipping

Orders are processed within 1 business day (excluding weekends and holidays).

We offer $7.99 flat rate shipping within the continental US.  Most Home Decor items are store pick-up only at this time.  

In-store pickup
Avoid the shipping fees and get your new items sooner with free local pickup at Tulip Bloom Boutique, 415 5th St, West Des Moines, IA 50265. After placing your order and selecting local pickup at checkout, your order will be prepared and ready for pick up within 1 business day. We will send you an email when your order is ready along with instructions. 

Our in-store pickup hours are available between 10 am - 5 pm, Tuesday - Friday and 10 am - 4 pm, Saturdays. Please have your order confirmation email with you when you come.

Returns

We have a 14-day online return policy. You must contact us within two weeks of receiving your item to request a return in the form of store credit. To be eligible for a return, your item must be in the new, unused condition.  Clothing must be free of makeup stains, deodorant marks, pet hair and smoke scents. Returns must have a receipt or proof of purchase.  Customers are responsible for return shipping costs. No exceptions.

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